I guess change is part of life; a life without change would be no life at all. Lately, I have found myslef anticipating another, big change: back to the U.S. of A.
It's a mix of emotions I have never felt before. Of course I want to go home, my family is there, my friends are there, everything I have ever known there. However, I have spent the last nine months learning another way of life. I have made 'My French Life' and now I am anticipating leaving it, never to return to the same situation here.
Some of what I am feeling is similar to that before I left: anxiety, fear, excitement. But each emotion results from a different cause this time. In September, I was anxious to see France, speak french, meet new french friends, drink french coffee:) Now, I am anxious to go home, see family and get going with my nursing education. I was afraid for how I was going to handle being so far from home, without any family close by, for an extended period of time. Now I am afraid of how life will be different when I go home. I was excited by my anticipation of 'My French Life'. Now, I'm excited to see family, friends and be on the other side of the Atlantic again. I'm excited to tell stories and share pictures, face to face. The excitement though is balanced out with a healthy amount of fear and anxiety...how will life be different when I go home and how will I handle it? My french life will continue to play into my LIFE, the two are going to have to find some way to get along. THAT is the root of my anticipation, fear and anxiety. How will they get along?
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